the woman behind me orders french onion soup and pico de gallo. and immediately i respect her. a woman who dares to want it all!
she orders a rum drink to wash it down with. i think to turn around and see who this animal is. this woman with ambition! i think there’s probably something i can learn from her but can’t start this conversation right now. she’s with her husband and they’re doing valentines and it would be wrong for me to interrupt.
i’m on my second beer and the sun is setting. it’s so beautiful. it’s so beautiful i could cry. the way the light shines off the ice that floats on the lake in perfect formation.
let me paint a picture – i’m at a tavern up on the north shore and i have on my best camouflage turtleneck. i just ate a cheeseburger. i’m alone and a bit heartbroken and everyone else is with their valentines or their children. i have my back to the room (rare) and i tap tap tap away on this tiny lil cellphone of mine. my lips are chapped real bad.
i wish the velvet underground was playing. i think about a guy i met at a bar in marfa named phoenix, who was missing a front tooth and shy in a menacing sort of way. i liked phoenix from the moment i saw him. i hope he sees this. i wish i could smoke a cigarette. right here, right now.
the setting sun makes it so my face glows a sort of pink orange color. my hair is down and my cheeks are kinda rosy the way they get when i’ve come in from the cold. i’m a good scandinavian girl that way.
in fact, i’m a good girl in every way. god knows it too.
Words 