the woman behind me orders french onion soup and pico de gallo. and immediately i respect her. a woman who dares to want it all! she orders a rum drink to wash it down with. i think to turn around and see who this animal is. this woman with ambition! i think there’s probably something […]
from august (in my summer skin)
my brother and i stand watching as a fire burns a bunch of stuff we don’t want anymore. “if i had a dollar for every time i had a garbage fire since mom died, i’d have, like, thirty dollars,” i say. “more than that,” he says. i nod in agreement. i’ve been burning stuff for […]
my fetish for eternal peace
i have a fetish for knowing what’s going on. it’s, like, the most important thing to understand about me. some might say it’s because i’m an enneagram eight. others might think it’s because i was raised by a virgo. me, i say it’s because i couldn’t be more turned off by not having a clue. […]
at the end of the earth, tell me i’m yours
the woman i love is going to red hook this weekend to give a talk about her book with another author, a guy named sean thor conroe, who wrote fuccboi. no gatekeeping here – it’s a book about him being a fuck boy. the wikipedia page for it flaunts his use of “bro-speak”. i’ve never […]
i’ve always liked dancing with you
it’s late november now and these three pieces are all from early spring, shortly before things fell through with you and k- and you came back to the house for the summer. before we decided to try to get pregnant. before you took me to the city for my birthday and before things felt good […]
lay me down
i’ve been getting an evening massage every week for the last month or so in attempt to reverse what i’m convinced is years taken off my life due to the stress of the past decade. i typically see a woman named kathryn, who has both nostrils pierced, tattoos, and soft eyes behind clear, pink-framed glasses. […]
undone, dripping
“oh, i’m not good with dairy,” says the girl next to me as she devours a bowl of spinach artichoke dip. she plopped down onto her bar stool about ten minutes ago and has been chatting nonstop with the guy on the other side of her ever since, except he just got up to get […]
our bodies are a beautiful country
r- sits in my candlelit living room reading jorge borges. he sips from a glass of my good californian whiskey. my dog and i lay on the sheepskins nearby, listening. i finish a cup of half chamomile tea, half milk. a bit of honey. i think about how r- is a teacher and try to […]
pity god
from april __ jerry (not his real name) and i sit watching the river and the sun setting below the hill beyond it. i talk about being in love with my fourth grade teacher, mr. marone. about how even at a young age, i knew what it felt like to be spiritually bonded. jerry tells […]
big lake out my window
the chicken nuggets and the wine? they’re a dinner for heartbreak. and i’m sorry i’ve been mean. i’m just hurt. i feel so delicate in the evenings. like a flower with a few petals gone to the wind. it’s beautiful, really. romantic, even. i roam around my apartment in my underwear, writing and fussing with […]
Words 